Flora and the Flamingo Meets Brooklyn. One of our most treasured books in our nursery.Read More
Part of myself wants to forget this day.
Part of myself wants to remember it always. It was a beautiful day, we had the most amazing, magical morning. I also found myself deeply connected to the universe that day. And thats the part I choose i never forget,
We spent the morning just walking around in a winter wonderland, For some reason my gut told me to bring my camera and capture our adventure. And I did,.
After we returned back to town, I remember Bobby saying he wanted to take our daughter to the motocross store to get her riding boots. And went along. It wasn't more then 30 minutes into our little shopping trip I started to feel sick. I went to the bathroom and stood there like" What the heck is happening?!" I came out and told Bobby that I needed to get home, like RIGHT NOW! It was drizzly outside and he handed me his keys so that I could go climb up in the truck while he checked out. I walked out to the truck, opened the passenger door and started throwing up. I couldn't stop. McKenzie came out and I said, " Tell your dad to hurry.' He rushed out and drove us home while I held a cup in my hands over my face. As soon as we got home the pain worsen. I lived in the Bathroom for an hour, crying. I couldn't get comfortable and I couldn't stop throwing up. Then the pain simmered. I thought " okay I got this! I'll go lay down and when I wake up it will have passed." I climbed up on my bed only to sink down the other side in pain again. There was no position, no pressure point that effected this pain. I had put on a night gown cause Anything touching my body was brutal.
Then all of a sudden a surge of pain radiated throughout my entire body, My back, My 30 week pregnant belly. It was THE most pain I have ever felt in my life. I thought I was dying. I was crying on the bed, praying asking every angel I knew to protect us. Get us through this. I promised myself I could endure any pain I had to go through as long as my baby was safe! I remember praying out loud, begging God to be with us, Keep us safe. I'm choking up thinking about it....
I heard the kids in the other room asking my husband if I was going to be okay, I knew they were scared. I tried to hard to stay quite and not let them hear my pain. But it was so intense I couldn't keep that energy inside.
I was trying to focus on breathing, I heard a voice say. " Get to Labor and Delivery" I was hesitant because the last thing I wanted was to leave the kids at home and sit in the hospital, only to be released hours later. I thought to myself," No. I can endure this. It will pass.' "GET TO LABOR AND DELIVERY!!" I pulled myself off the bed, yelled for Bobby. I said," I need you to drive me to labor and delivery! Right now." I walked out to the car, climbed in and sat there waiting, for what felt like forever for Bobby to come out.
We drove to the old hospital and the drive itself felt like we hit every red light, Stuck behind the slowest drivers. But we made it and bobby helped my walk up to the front counter. We picked up the phone at the doors and i felt myself sinking, barely able to stand the pain, the doors opened immediately and nurses rushed to meet us. They ushered us into a room where they put the monitors on me and my belly. I started throwing up again. I don't remember questions or what else happened, but I do remember them saying that the Baby's heart beat was at 60bpm. I didnt know at the time, but they had said if we had waited just 30 more minutes Brooklyn probably would have died.
A man came in and introduced himself to us while the nurses started to remove my jewelry. They were unlocking the brakes on my hospital bed, and the man said. " Amie, we have to take your Baby. Now."
Take my baby? What was happening?! I heard someone tell Bobby they were going to roll me in for an emergency C-section. I remember them trying to get an IV in me only to blow my vains because I was so dehydrated. 5 attempts and one epidural later I was laying on a table being asked, " Can you feel this?" The Dr was poking my lower stomach with a scalpel. Umm YES i felt that! The nurse even told the Dr, Epidural hasn't kicked in, she says she felt it. "We don't have time!" He said and proceeded to cut my stomach open. I arched back and screamed in pain. I could see Bobby through the window behind me watching, my oxygen mask was muffling my cries. "Little pressure." The nurse said. "Little?" I thought. Almost as she said that I felt them pull Brooklyn out. The epidural kicked in. and I could breathe. "Look to your left and you'll see your baby!"
I turned my head quickly. All I saw was a person hurrying by and the tiniest leg dangling down. The Drs ended up remove a softball tumor that was attached to my lower intestines. I'm almost positive that it's what started all this. After I was closed up I was moved to a room to be monitored, where the Dr in charge of the NICU came in to talk to me. I dont remember anything he said. But Bobby was with her and I knew I could rest. They moved me up to the Mom and Baby section, where Mamas recover and go home with their little bundles of joy. I was so weak and still so nauseous. I tried 3 times to get downstairs to the NICU to see my baby. I couldn't get past the elevators before they turned my wheelchair around and took me back to my room. That night was the longest. I heard babies in the other rooms with their mommies, while mine laid downstairs on a case, I didnt even know what she looked like. How alive was she? Was she going to make it?
I did eventually get down there. I was wheeled into her room and placed my hand on this big plastic case she was in. I sobbed and Bobby sobbed. She was alive, But we had no idea the journey ahead of us.
I've been asked alot, mostly through instagram, how I shoot and edit my images. Do I have a photographer with me all the time? Does my husband take the images? timer? Nope, nope and NOPE! Truth is most of my images are taken last moment so theres no time to call a photographer! My secret weapon is my remote shutter! I attach it to my camera and then get in front. To be honest I used to use my Canon Mark iii camera but because its a manual focus it was so hard to get it set up and focus on myself when I cant stand in front of the camera AND behind it. So i dropped a lil money and bout a Canon Rebel t6i. Basic DSLR any mama can work! Not only can it auto focus on me but, It has this amazing little flip out screen so I can see what its shooting and if i need to move left or scoot back!
Once Ive taken my photos I'll quickly upload them to my Lightroom program and edit them using a mix of my favorite presets! Which if you like the look of my edits, try Mastin Labs, Portra and Fuji sets! My fav fav!
My wireless remote shutter is a Vello brand, here's a link to amazon where I bought it. HERE
Make sure you buy a cable to hook it up to the camera that you have, When I bought it for my Mark iii it came with a rebel connector, lame. Just keep that in mind! And then grab your kids and hop in front of the camera!! Mamas need to be in photos too!
What's the Best
present you can give a pregnant lady?
Since lil Brookie's not here yet to help model our new Dock-a-tot, I enlisted the help from Miss Charlie! My friend Lacee's Babe. She's gives this her stamp of approval so I'm positive Brooklyn will love it just as much! This floral design caught my eye and I just couldn't go on until I had it in my life! You can find more designs here.
So What is DockATot?
DockATot® is a multi-functional lounging, playing, chilling, resting and snuggling dock you can take anywhere. Created with love in Sweden with a strict emphasis on design and comfort, there is simply nothing else like it on the market that allows mothers to feed, soothe, and bond with baby.
Whew, I did it!! I finally finished Brooklyn's nursery! It was not as easy as I thought! I had this vision of a soft girly wanderlust theme, but then things like unicorns and watercolor roses kept creeping in there, lol. I kept asking myself, "Can Unicorn's and Catus go together?" Could I possibly make that a thing? No. The answer is it's pretty near impossible. So I just picked pieces that felt right. I really struggled with wanting a rocker/recliner. I felt like any Pinterest worthy nursery had and adorable, super uncomfortable rocker! but the truth is my lil space just would be too crowed if I added one! So I opted for a yellow chair that I had bought a few years ago 2nd hand, I've always loved it in my studio and today it clicked, that that's just what the nursery needed to be topped off.
So here it is, our clean, crisp, semi boho, wanderlust nursery!
Baby monitors, I had no idea where to start! I think at one point i looked at Bobby and said, "This is your mission! Find the best one!" Until I came across this on Instagram, Not only was it SO adorable, but SUPER functional and adaptable! Set up was a complete breeze! I did it all by myself in less then 15 minutes! Only took a bit because my WiFi was acting up and wouldn't connect. I love the bendable stem this monitor has and I cant wait to see my sweet babes face! Oh, because the video/screen is SO crystal clear!!
This top rug has lived on my Pinterest board forever! Aesthetically it ties the room together, but Im assuming it's wool because it is not a rug you want to lay on or lay your delicate baby on for sure! It is easy on the eyes though and a great back up rug!
This RUG! This romantic, lace-inspired design makes any room feel extra special. Its delicate cutouts lend a fancy touch while the neutral colors keep it versatile. This is a rug that feels equally at home in a nursery, bathroom, or sitting area. And did I mention that all Lorena Canals rugs are machine washable?! When it showed up I was in love with how soft it is and I know laying baby Brooklyn on it isn't going to hurt or scratch like other rugs would!
how many left?
That "CUTE" bump.... yeah it's slowly taking over the whole front of my body!! I don't know what I was thinking, Did I really think it was gonna stay cute and low and perfect forever? Lmao. It's reassuring though, the more room she takes up, the stronger her kicks get. and the stronger her kicks, the healthier she is! So Im okay with turning into a giant boulder.
After fitness is starting to sink in. Losing the baby weight and toning back up HAS to be a priority, Yet I know me. And I definitely know my ability to pass up anything sweet is non existent!
Sleeping has taken on a whole mew life of it's own. When I tell people my husband and I sleep in a queen size bed they think Im crazy. Honestly we like touching at night time. I'd never be able to fall asleep if I couldn't feel his hairy leg, lol. But now our bed is a pillow fort, full of my giant wrap around body pillow, a wedge pillow, and extra "between the knees" pillow, and solid king size gel pillow to help keep my head cool and supported. I'm so looking forward to sleeping o nmy belly again and having this adorable babe in a bassinet next to me!
How many Swaddles
is considered, too many.. Asking for a friend.
So where are we going with this theme? The original plan was a wanderlust, Southern Boho feel. And I think I've kept the spirit of that going, but on a much more feminine vibe then I had originally planned. I haven't added the big sign we had made for above the crib yet that has her name! It's totally adorable though! More updates soon!
You thought break
meant you could work right?
Oh how I totally crack myself up over here! I seriously have it in my head that by New Years I will have a MASTER PLAN for next year!! It seems easier to plan out what business will look like because there are so many knowns already. Baby will be here March/April, New House will be finished May/June. So what do I want to do with this space? Do I want to dive back into the Full-Time photography world? Not really, Do I want to keep side hustling it... with a new baby?
Or do I want to step back and refocus on something entirely different? Maybe step away from photography completely and just photograph my family, our adventures and take the time to document this lil one! I remember with my other two kids I didnt know how to use a camera, edit, take video, a majority of my son's photos live in an old cell phone I can't find. So in 2018 my goals are to focus on growing her and creating a solid plan for just being present in my family's life.
Another idea Ive played around with is starting a online boutique of little girls items. I have loved shopping and designing everything for Brooklyn SO MUCH!! I cultivated a style that is so adorable I can't help but think other Mamas would love it too! But I've never ventured into the retail world before and frankly, it scares the shit out of me. So just maybe later in the year that will come to fruit!
check. Looking like butt... also check
Whoo-hoo Offically 7 months along!
I'll be honest, This week Kicked my butt!! Not only did I have the flu, get put on all sorts of antibiotics, but I missed my lash appointment and lost all my lash extensions! Talk about feeling naked! I did get my 2nd wind though. We had a super low key Christmas, Bobby suprised me with a new dresser for the nursery and my Dock a Tot showed up! more on that soon!
I feel super lame saying that this pregnancy has been a pretty smooth ride! Baby Brooke is really getting strong, the kicks and punches she delivers are mostly at night time as Im getting ready to settle down! lol
Looking back, week 4 through 23, Today I am 24 weeks along so I have to brain storm another photo! lol I feel like this pregnancy is Flying and Im so glad I started tracking my bumpdates from the beginning! With her being our last babe I'm having as much fun as possible! Eating good but still letting my self have the sweets I crave here and there! lol, I had a handful of chocolate covered pretzels this morning before I ate anything else. Hey, its called balance! Im reeeeaaalllyy craving the Crepery! A crepe with nutella and freshly sliced strawberries and bananas! YUM! I think Food has been my favorite part of this pregnancy! Im always hungry and ready to try new things! I felt Brooklyn kick a rib this morning. I looked at my app I have on my phone and it says she's as big as an ear of corn, whoa mama! I'm having a hard time imagining a larger baby in there! I still see her as the kiwi, or avocado maybe! I find myself constantly wondering if she'll have dark hair like McKenzie or come out completely white blonde like Zac! Either way I know she's going to be perfect for us! Okay, We're over half way there!
For starters I will hands down put my baby in anything made by L'ovedbaby Because everything has that, vintage yet new photographable look to it!
Also I just recently discovered Yours Truly Props shes the one that made the white and grey body suits! That hot lil number in the middle cost me a pretty penny but it has such sentimental meaning that I had to! Its made by Boutique De Marcipan & its made of 80% royal Baby alpaca & 20% polyamide. I totally recommend buying directly from them because I purchased them through a local boutique and the mark up was insane!
Today we got our crib delivered and Bobby and I put it together! It's so crazy to see the front office turning into a nursery! Granted she'll only be spending a few short months in it, it's a fun little nesting project!
Just like that, we're in the second trimester baby! I love that you're a girl! Our little Brooklyn Joanna.
And that means Pumpkin Patch with our friends! Emily had the nerve to get pregnant 3 months before me!, I kid! I actually lucked out cause they weren't planning on this lil babe, he just decided they needed him! And I'm actually very grateful for that! I think being pregnant at the same time has brought us even closer, she has 2 other littles so Im always picking her brain about what I can and can't eat. What's the best baby stroller, swaddles, carriers... I swear she knoes it all and should blog about it!
We met up the street at the farm last night, and perfect timing too! The sun was setting and the pumpkin patch hadn't been picked clean yet! We took turns snapping photos of our bumps!
YES YES YES!!! I knew it! Before we were even trying to get pregnant, before I convinced Bobby that a reversal was a great idea I would say, "Babe! I just know there is another baby in heaven waiting for us! There a little girl! And I JUST KNOW she's ment to be ours!!" I fell in love with the name Brooklyn. I'd say, " Just think! A lil Brookie Jo in our family! A little sister for McKenzie!!" Oh how I wanted a little sister for her!! I love mine! People would say, " I bet its a boy!" or <" I just have a feeling youre having a boy!!" Oh how my pregnancy hormones would rage. And deep down inside I'd have to calm myself because I could vividly imagine THROAT PUNCHING them!! Sounds silly now, but I just knew it was going to be a girl! I had even been buying girl items for over a year! Seriously that stock pile in my closet is legit!
I wanted the reveal to be special for Bobby and the kids! We waited 2 weeks befor ethe results for all our testing came back, I got the phone call from the Drs office saying the baby was totally healthy and they asked if I wanted to know the gender. Duh, It's a girl. I calmly thanked the nurse and hung up. The plan from the beginning was to let Bobby blow something up, so I packeged the pink and blue powder in black trash bags, I marked the bag with the pink powder with a tag that had a blue one, and the bag with the blue powder, a pink 2. We drove out to the desert, set up the tannerite and then Bobby said,"Okay, go place the bag!" I reached in the box grabbing the blue 1 bag, and carefully walked out to set it up. As I was walking away I heard McKenzie say, " I think I know what it is... Oh man its a boy!" But not in a happy voice, she started to BALL!!! " I saw a blue mark! Its Blue. I really wanted a sister!!" Boy did she lose her shit!! She was beyond upset. I just kept telling her "Just wait and see! Maybe I tricked you!" But she wasn't having it. She was going to have another little brother and her world was over!
Bobby shot the explosive and PINK powder went everywhere! I looked back at McKenzie and she had her hands over her nose and mouth. AGAIN, she started to sob uncontrollably!! She was an emotional wreak! We had taken her from her lowest low to her HIGHEST high and her little heart just couldn't take it! LOL. She cried for a good 20 minutes before she was able to pull it together! Everyone is thrilled! Even Zac! He says he's excited to have a little sister! And Bobby is happy to have another princess!
Boom! Here we are again with another 2 weeks and another #Bumpdate! This week was a big mental turn for me. When I found out we were going to try and have a baby, I was very excited to document it all, share our journey. Maybe work with brands and get some cool stuff for the baby and the nursery. But then, I don't know. Something shifted. Here I am. I'm finally having this 3rd baby I've wanted for years and.... All I'm thinking about is how can this up my social game? What? It's not me. And I hate being surrounded by an environment like social media where the pressure to share "Re-postable Worthy" images is so strong!! I was constantly looking at my followers number and thinking, "Why didn't that get me any new people?" O "why didn't this photo get more likes?!" "What am I doing wrong?!!!"
I'll tell ya whats wrong. Suddenly I was living for what everyone else thought. When the whole game plan was to document this journey for ME and our Baby and our family to look back on! So last Saturday I took that power back. I switched my instagram accounts and Kept my personal one private. Now I share my fun images but their on my account where I no longer worry about the number of likes, because Im not posting for others! It's honestly taken so much weight off my mind and has allowed me to enjoy my family and this pregnancy leaps and bounds more! Im not after that perfect shot! Im after one to just remember this moment! Perfect lighting or not!
So, Here I am 12 weeks out. I have my coffee now, not daily but a few times a week. I could go my whole life without alcohol but take my coffee... I could cry!